Ahhh Sleep...

One would think that being on bedrest would mean getting lots of rest, ie sleep. This has not been the case the last couple of days.

I have switched sides of the bed with Bri, used both body pillows, one, none,etc....
Nothing helps! I am wide awake most of the night. The most ironic part is that it would seem that I can fall asleep when on my right side- also known as the side I am not supposed to sleep on!
Argh...so for the last couple of days I have slept on average 3 hours a night and been wide awake a 5am. This is not cool.

Today, has been rather fun, the boys have been moving like crazy! My tummy looks like a popcorn popper!
I've been thinking a lot lately about the reality of having these babies. I cannot wait to spend a day in Door County with them, go for walks around the neighborhood, pick up goodies at the farmers market and well a ton of other things!!!

I guess being a mom is not really something I envisioned myself as because- that's my mom, not me. I wanted babies for awhile but was really concerned about affording them. Everyone said, "If you wait till everything is perfect you will never have kids." Here we are expecting twins, and losing half of our income (thank you cervix) and you know what? You do figure it out, sure it's as scary as a double headed rat, but you make do (because you have to).

Wow- sorry for the rambling...

NEGATIVE!!!!

The OB told me to call this morning for the results, so when the phone rang this morning I assumed the worse- but I was wrong! My ffn came back negative- so are most certainly making it to 28 weeks and BEYOND!

I am so relived! I don't feel like as much as a ticking time bomb and at 28 weeks I think survival rates are 98% and less than 10% for abnormalities- granted we still don't want to see them that early!

Thank you so much for all your amazing thoughts and prayers- they are working!

Shower Day!!!

It's shower day!!!
I get to leave the house and go to my shower!!!

I've got a cute little outfit all picked out and ready to go. My mom and sister are on their way to do my hair, make-up and drive me over...Along with my little niece, Ashlynn, I can't wait to see her!

This was secretly one of my goals, just to make it to the shower and still be pregnant... Wednesday will be 2 weeks since the positive ffn, so I wasn't sure how things were going to play out.

I have the OB appointment tomorrow, along with the repeat ffn, I don't think I'll get the results until Tuesday though.
So please start sending prayers for a negative test result! Then I could at least RELAX until we hit the 28 week mark!

100 days!

I had a bit of a scare this morning but called the OB and everything is ok.
I'm glad I bought the home doppler because after the scare I was able to find their strong, thumping heartbeats- the sweetest sound in the world!

I cannot believe it's 100 days! That's 100 days till 40 weeks. So seeing as we're really hoping for 34 weeks- we get to go take 42 days off of that, so really it's at least 58 more days till we meet our little men!!!

Everyone keeps telling me that they are feeling mid April. I hope you all are right! I just can't wait to be in the 30's.... Once we pass 28 weeks we can take a deep breath!

Living for today and hoping or tomorrow!

I'm trying to focus on today as much as possible. I pulled out my dusty meditation book and have been practicing. The chakra color for your reproductive organs is orange and the sound associated with meditating on that chakra is Re (according to my book). I think it's a good sign that I sit by a rust colored wall all day with "rays" of sunshine coming through the window.
This may be a stretch but it's a stretch I'm willing to make!

Yesterday was really nice- my friend Laura stopped by with lunch as well as some amazing dinners for the week. She also brought her little girl Olivia, who is as sweet as pie!
Later our friends Aubrey and Josh, with their two little people dropped off a recliner they were getting rid of. They stayed awhile to play some Wii and "princess" which involved Bubba twirling which is always good.

The day goes by so much faster with visitors! I'm soooo looking forward to my shower on Sunday, it will be great to see everyone and to get out of the house!
Then on Monday I'll be 26 weeks! Everyday day and week is such a blessing!

Happy Friday!

Love

Bubba and I have been together for nearly 7 years now. I referred to him as "quiet,shy boy" the entire time I was crushing on him. When he finally gave in to my wicked ways, that was it- we knew we had something special. Our life together has been a blessed one, we have been extremely lucky. The news of the twins was the first "real" surprise we've had!

Looking at this picture, I would have never imagined how much we would grow. At the appointment yesterday, the tech asked how we took the news of twins. I explained to her that once we found out we could not imagine it any other way. I would be terrified of having twins if I did not have that man by my side. He's the guy that makes me laugh, rubs my feet and makes me brownies! He is a constant, there is no ups and downs of emotions with Bubba- just steady and optimistic. Sure, this is also the thing that drives me crazy about him! ;) But it's also the way we balance one another.

These reflections on our marriage are stemming from a magazine article I read about the high incidence of divorce among parents of multiples...not going to happen!

And that beautiful woman in the first picture that's my "twin" (really my older sister). She just had a baby girl a couple of weeks ago and is an inspiration of strength and courage. She has a little guy at home and really wanted another baby, it wasn't an easy ride for them but she never got discouraged and now she has the most darling little peanut!

Grateful

Overall, today's appointment went well. The babies are doing great- weighing 1lb 13 oz and 1 lb 14 oz. Heartbeats of 147 and 150. Their hearts looked great, we got to see each valve up close and they were pumping away.
They also do a screen of their arteries, when the arteries form an x, it means that they are clear for 97% of cardiac abnormalities. Both of the boys had x's!
Harrison still has dialated kidneys and we're still not supposed to worry...
The tech and peri both made a point to express that the boys were rather large (in the penial area). I don't think Bri could have been more proud at that moment! It was a welcome laugh to all the seriousness.
We also learned that baby b is vertex he is sprawled out right across my ribs- which would explain why I only feel movement on the left side- I have 4 little feet over there!

My cervix was at 2.8- which is still normal, there was not much funneling or shortening when pressure was applied, which is great.
They did not repeat the fFn test as they wanted to have 2 weeks between tests. So I will be getting it redone at Monday's appointment.
The peri said she has seen circumstances way worse than mine and is confident in me carrying them longer. She scheduled me out for the next 6 weeks, which feels great!

She also gave me the go ahead to attend my shower this week-end!
They also told us that they believe our boys are identical- it appears they are equally sharing one placenta rather than 2 placentas that fused together...who knows!?!

8 wk letter to the twins

Hello Babies,
I 've spent the last week obsessing and worrying about you incessantly. A couple of days ago I went to the clinic for some spotting. The nurse did an internal exam and deduced that the spotting was most likely from the recent pap smear. She told me everything looked great and you two were o.k.
Me being the constant worrier, I asked if something were to happen to one of you would I know?!? She said not neccessarily. I held it together in the clinic but then I lost it in the car. When I first saw the two of you I wanted nothing more than to make it 1- I didn't think I could handle two babies! Now I can't imagine my life without the two of you.
Today is a new day! I woke up with confidence, not to mention more energy! You two are going to be fine and I can't wait to meet you!
All my love, mom.

Valentine's Day

Yesterday was a really hard day. I could not get comfortable to save my life and then when I would finally settle into a position I would have trouble breathing.

I was at my wits end by the time Bri got home, I can't imagine how hard this is for him. He made fettuccine alfredo and gave me a logic puzzle book....and then handed me a rather large bag with a Wii! We've named it Hubert the bedrest boredom buster. We've already downloaded some of the old classic games and have been having a blast playing them. It will also be really nice to get back into shape once these little guys are here.

One of the hardest things about being on bedrest, besides the ticking time bomb mentality is seeing people on t.v. walking and doing things. I get so jealous! I will never take walking for granted again!
Tomorrow is 25 weeks! 10 more weeks to go! I can't wait for Tuesday's peri appointment, it wil be so nice to see Harry and Ollie. I pray that everything looks good with them, my cervix is holding strong and that my fFn test comes back negative. If all those were true that would be the best day ever!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Home Sweet Home

It's good to be home.
My little bedrest buddy, the fabulous miss Mabelle, is back being my right hand gal. The second I got my rear plunked back into the couch she was right there and ready to snuggle!

Mom is coming down today. I am so excited to see her- and hug her- nothing like a mom hug. Brian washed some of the babies little clothes, blankets and what not so mom and I can fold and put them on hangers.

I've become terrified of labor and worry that every backache, gas bubble, baby kick, etc is it! I was able to get some much needed sleep last night- it helps knowing all the prayers that are being said for our little men.

Do you know? At this point everyday the boys stay in utero averages to two less days in the NICU. I'm setting 2 week short term goals for myself with the ultimate goal of 32+ weeks. I'm so over bedrest sucking, after meeting with a neonatologist and hearing all the what-ifs and upsetting statistics I will do whatever it takes to keep the boys cooking. I would hang upside down if that's what they told me to do.

I have my next appointment on Tuesday with the peri. She is going to do a growth ultrasound on the boys and I think she will repeat the FFN and I also believe it is going to come back negative.

Lets hope for a quiet week-end without any scares!
Thank you for all your continued thoughts and prayers.

Please Pray

FFN test came back positive.
We're back in labor and delivery, having some contractions...

I was given a steroid shot to speed up the development of the boys lungs and hopefully up their chances for survival.

Please keep us all in your prayers.

Wooohooo!!!!

Went to the peri today and it was awesome!

They did a fetal fibronectin test that gives you your chances of delivering within 2 weeks. There's a protein in your uterus that acts as the glue during pregnancy and as a women nears her due date the protein becomes present in her va-j-j. A negative result means there is less than a 3% chance of delivery within 2 weeks. I will get the results from that test this afternoon.

Dr. Steele answered all of my questions, throroughly- she was so great!

They also did a cervical scan and my cervix is now measuring 3.32!!!!! Up from 2.4. She said that is a rather normal looking cervix, although there is still some funneling when pressure is applied, so although normal, it's a little "weak." But the good news is that I can get up every once in awhile and I am also allowed to sit upright more often! I'll take it! I hugged Dr. Steele when she said I could sit at the sewing machine a limited amount!

I also got the results from my glucose test and I'm all good!!! Normal levels are 70-140 and I was a mere 85- YESSSSS!

So, all is good today! I have a growth ultrasound on the 22nd with the peri, where she will take a close look at both the babies and check Harrison's kidney again.

Big day!

We'll get to the above image shortly but first I wanted to fill you in on yesterdays appointments...they sucked.

I went in for the glucose test and although the drink didn't taste bad I started getting really hot and sweaty, and dizzy with 15 minutes of drinking it. I got a nurse and was able to lay down and then started to feel better.
I then went back at 4:45 for my follow up and whoops! They gave me the test too early...they prefer to do it at 26 weeks. (not happy) So I requested they send this one in anyway and then we'll go from there. Other than that I didn't really learn much at this appointment except that Harrison flipped again and is now feet down. Let's just hope he stops using my cervix as a trampoline-otherwise I will be unloading copious amounts of guilt on him for the rest of his life. ;) I am very excited about the peri appointment tomorrow.

Oooo and I am sporting some different kinds of thigh highs this Valentine's Day- anti embolism hose...after struggling for about a half hour to get them on, I'm still convinced they are on wrong but they feel pretty ok. For what these cost I could have got a rather sassy ensemble...oh well.

Bubs made Rachel Ray's sloppy veg head for dinner and it was great! He also painted my toenails and decided that if times get really tough he might open a beauty parlor (there was absolutely no sarcasm in there-yeah right). Brian dropped off some files for work yesterday and returned with a card from one of my favorite customers. It was the sweetest card and she included some moola to "help pass the time." I was so suprised and will miss getting to see and talk with such thoughtful and caring people.

So back to the picture- I cracked and signed up for Netflix- first on the list is Mad Men. This show is so up my alley- the clothes, the sexism, the ad world...everything! In the first episode the new secretary goes into the doctor (who smokes during her appointment) to get some contraceptive. He agrees but warns her about becoming the town pump, and that easy women don't make good wives....ah how I wish I was still in Feminist Theory now!

Bedrest is alot easier when you feel like you're in a snowglobe...please be safe when you're out and about in it...

Sock Monkey

Ummmm Hello!?!?? How cute is this! I almost died when I saw this. I didn't even know Bumbo seat covers existed.
These have now made it into my etsy shopping cart! Way to cute!

Bubba made tuna noodle casserole last night and it was delish. Today he is going to learn to make banana bread because we have icky bananas ready to be transformed! I'm so proud of him. He seems somewhat excited to learn new things.

My hyacinths (in the house) are blooming now and they smell wonderful- thanks Rose! I can't wait till the hundreds of bulbs pop up in the front yard this spring!

I feel like gravity has made my belly move upwards lately. It's not nearly as low as it was last week, this may be the thing I needed to get them up and off my poor little cervix (visualize cervix with sad face here).

I had my break down with mom yesterday about all my fears and worries, one being that I hardly feel Harrison move. Oliver on the other hand must have some maracas in there or something. Of course when I hang up- Harrison starts dancing and kicking away...I just have a little too much time to be paranoid right now.

Brian is going to take some pictures today so I can share what our busy little nest is like now! Enjoy the superbowl!

Mail!

Well I can't figure out how to center a picture but oh well. I got this t-shirt in the mail today from Brian's sister, Kirsten!

It's the cutest darn thing I've ever seen! I'm totally wearing it to my appointments this week. I also got a card from a super sweet woman from church.

Here's what it said:

1) No guilt! In a long term marriage, each partner will have a chance to step up and take over when the need arrives.

2) Distraction! It really will help the time go by faster...try a new hobby... I love your blog idea. (yeah!)

3) Ollie and Harry! Some children live a lifetime with out the gift of love. Your boys have been loved a lifetime...and there's more to come. :)

4) Meditation! Build your brick wall at the bottom of your uterus...or whatever image helps you to reinforce the power of your own body and mind.

5) Prayer! Your mom's got us all praying for you... never under estimate the power of prayer or the love of your Mom.

Thank you Pam- your words were needed and I will use your ideas!

I am so looking forward to the next couple of days. Brian is off tomorrow and Monday. I have an OB appointment Monday (glucose test and rhogham shot) with a follow up in the afternoon. So that means two outings!!! ;)

I spent yesterday getting frustrated trying to purchase curtains for the living room- I found the perfect ones from Pier One- on clearance $14.98!!! I needed four panels and finally found 4 in the West Bend store- whoa hooo...not so much, they wanted $24 for shipping!?!? Argh...
This is where I have a hard time because I want total control over purchasing curtains! I can't just send Bubba to target and expect him to come back with good curtains- I know how silly this is in the grand scheme of things...

If anyone has any great morning sickness tips- please leave a comment. My friend Jenny is suffering big time! Very nauseous and dizzy till about 2:00 in the afternoon. I'm pretty sure she feels this way because she's pregnant with twin girls! ;) But- hey that's just me hoping I can marry Harry and Ollie off to twin girls and then we can all go on Oprah or someting...oh no- she won't have her show anymore! How am I ever going to make it on Oprah now!?!?!?

Enjoy the beautiful week-end!

Friends

Well I learned a trick today, if you sleep until 10:30, 2:00 comes a lot quicker!
No really, it makes the day go by so much faster.

I promise to get better with pictures and what not- I need to have Bri clear off the camera and I also need to fix up this crusty old laptop so it doesn't bog down! ;)

My friend Aubrey stopped by with some A bravo for lunch, baby goodies and chocolates, and then soon after she left, my friend Pam stopped by with amazing macadamia cookies, two little sock monkies and a book by Julie Andrews...I love them! Next time dad comes down he has to change our front door knob- because although it seems locked, it's not, it just sticks like a sonofa (I've been cleaning up my mouth for the babies). So just come on in and then kick Annie out of your way! Seriously though, if someone knows a miracle cure or an unruly mutt, please let me know. I'm desperate.

I did follow through with yesterday's to-dos and I must say, I did find Skinny Bitch Bun in the Oven apalling! The language used undermines any type of significant knowledge in the book. They also get really into the food and animal processing industry- pretty sure if you're reading the book, you are already committed to animal rights, vegetarianism, or veganism and pregnancy is so not the right time to be reading something of such a graphic/horrifying nature. So- farewell Bitches, I'm glad I only checked you out of the library and did not purchase your filth ;)

Crafty Mama has some pretty fun projects in it, however most require glue guns and what not so I'm not sure there are many I can do while on bedrest...I think I might make a snoogie- pretty much a fleece tie blanket, in baby chewie size! I hate to say it but I have made some of these before, ahem, for the dogs...

Holy Moly, I have Ellen on while I type and Kelly Osbourne has undergone a major transformation!

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

First Letter to the Twins

Dear Baby A and Baby B ( 7 weeks)

Wow! What a shock you gave us today. Your dad and I were just having our first visit to make sure everything was going ok. We were worried about the problems there may be and we just wanted to hear your heartbeats and see you all cozy.
The ultrasound technician called us back. She put the goo on my belly and I stared anxiously at the screen- I didn't see a thing! I began to worry that you weren't really there and I had made everything up.
The tech then asked, "Do twins run in your family?" Nope- none at all.* "Well they do now!"
I said "no freakin way" about a million times before it finally sank in that there were two of you! Even as I write this I can't believe your hearts are beating inside of me. Your dad simply said, "Ah, two of us, two of them- no biggie."
So, here we are- planning for your arrival. Daycare or no? Disposables or cloth? Breast milk or formula? etc... But you know what- I just can't wait to hold you two in my arms!

Love,
Mommy

*We are actually unsure of our family history, as my mom is adopted. This was the furthest thing from my mind at the time of the ultrasound. Our twins are in separate sacs and have seperate placentas. They can however still be identical, only a blood test done after birth can tell us for sure.

Plan for today...

I woke up this morning with only Mabelle in bed, which means it's time to get up because Annabelle is most likely up to no good...

I brushed my teeth and went to let the dogs out...Annie ran to the back of the yard and began digging like crazy...awesome- she's killing some sort of adorable rodent and I can't do a thing about it! I kept yelling for her and she kept ignoring me and then finally she came running to me with a frozen....squeaky toy. Ahhh relief.

Onto the days plans...Watch the Martha Stewart show- all about twins.
Watch The View

Sort through bins of clothes given to me (oooo and ahhhhh)
Start selecting bedrest appropriate crafts from Crafty Mama
Start reading Skinny Bitch Bun in the Oven (possibly be appalled by book!)

Watch Ellen and Oprah
Annoy the hell out of Brian when he gets home with random facts I learned today...
Beg Brian to make banana or strawberry bread! ;)

There are a few things that I have found to be indispensable during pregnancy:
A body pillow
Mama Bee Belly Butter
Magic Cup (Also known as hospital cup- so easy to keep track of ounces drank and keeps water nice and chilly)
Old Navy maternity jeans
A therma hot/cold pack (found at the target pharmacy- clay based, can be heated in the microwave or chilled in the freezer- best $10 I ever spent!)

And so it begins...

When you're told you're pregnant with twins, it's usually followed with the notification that a multiple pregnancy is a high-risk pregnancy.
So like any woman I know I went searching for all the possible information I could on multiple pregnancies, preterm labor and premature babies...well let me tell you- it's overwhelming!
The sources I found most helpful were:

When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads by Dr. Barbara Luke
You Having a Baby by Dr. Oz
Twinspiration by Cheryl Lage

I also spent a lot of time searching on-line and although it was helpful at times it was mainly too much information and rather scary at times!

My pregnancy time line has so far been this:

August 24th: Date of last aunt flo
Sept 9th: Suspected date of conception
Sept 19th: 6 positive pregnancy tests!
7 1/2 weeks pregnant: First OB appointment and first ultrasounds showing two babies!
9 weeks: spotting, went in for check
11 weeks: normal appointment
13 weeks: spotting, went in for check
14 weeks: OB and ultrasound
16 weeks: OB and ultrasound gender guess- 80% boy/girl
(request cervical check - denied)
18 weeks: OB and ultrasound - SURPRISE!!! 2 boys!
(request cervical check- denied again)
(return girl stuff, cry in target parking lot- go to Gymboree- buy way too many cute boy clothes- totally over it!)
20 weeks: Big ultrasound reveals baby b (Harrison) has an enlarged kidney. Nothing too serious everything else looks good.
(request/ demand cervical check- granted for week 22 appt)
Begin weekly physical therapy for ligament pain.
22 weeks: OB appt, ultrasound tech out sick.
23 weeks: ultrasound for cervical check and recheck of kidney
6 pm: Got call cervix was funneling and kidney had improved slightly. Sent to labor and delivery for observation overnight, had cervical check in am- funneling improved but measuring thin at 2.4 cm. Now on bedrest and will be seeing a perinatologist (high-risk ob) every other week, and my OB on the off weeks. I'm upset I didn't demand and do whatever it took to get my cervix checked earlier...but am moving on and focusing on the health of my babies!

Here we are!
My hope for this blog is to share my pregnancy/bed rest experiences. I'm going to do my best to make the most out of my bedrest time.
I'll share crafts, recipes and love letters between my grandparents...